And oftentimes excusing of a fault
Doth make the fault the worse by the excuse,
As patches set upon a little breach
Discredit more in hiding of the fault
Than did the fault before it was so patch’d.
Let’s begin by defining our terms. The dictionary is instructive and offers several different definitions:
- an explanation offered as a reason for being excused; a plea offered in extenuation of a fault or for release from an obligation, promise,etc.:
His excuse for being late was unacceptable.
-
a ground or reason for excusing or being excused: Ignorance is no excuse.
-
a pretext or subterfuge: He uses his poor health as an excuse for evading all responsibility.
According to two of these, a reason is pretty much the same as an excuse. Since writing about ‘no excuses‘ culture I’ve been issued various challenges (some of them more polite than others) one of which was to explain when a valid reason might be acceptable as an excuse.
But before I do that I’d like you to consider a scenario suggested by Sue Cowley. Some years back her house was hit by lightning. The resulting inferno destroyed, amongst other things, her children’s school equipment and uniform.
Sue argues that “If, when our children returned to school, they had been punished for ‘breaking the rules’, because they were not in uniform, and did not have their school books, then their school would officially have had a ‘no excuses’ culture and policy. There would literally have been ‘no excuses’ for breaking the rules. There would be no ‘reasonable excuse’ for which the rules could be bent.” Clearly such a position would be ludicrous.
Now this is an extreme example and designing school policies based on extremes is probably unnecessary. What is likely is that there will be less extreme, but equally valid reasons for children not being equipped and in uniform. If a child were to arrive in school and immediately seek out a teacher to explain why they were in breach of rules and ask for help, what school would be so unjust and inflexible as to punish them? But if, on the other hand, the same child arrived at school and used their reason as an excuse: “But, sir, it’s not fair!” Can you see the difference?
Reasons are just reasons: shit happens. But excuses take on a different shape altogether. Tomorrow I have to attend a Speed Awareness Course in Bristol for breaking the speed limit. I was photographed going at 55 miles per hour on a stretch of Motorway which had a temporary restriction of 50 mph. It was late at night and the road was empty. My fine seemed totally arbitrary and unfair. So what, I wasn’t endangering anyone. This shouldn’t apply in my special circumstances, I thought bitterly. But the law is implacable and does not care. The letter I got from Avon and Somerset police made it clear that there were no circumstances in which breaking the speed limit was acceptable. There were no excuses.
Although I didn’t even have a particularly good reason, I wanted an exception to be made. Surely my special circumstances made an inflexible application of the law unfair and unreasonable? And so it may be, but if I want to keep my driving licence then I know exactly what’s expected of me. Problems often arise when the punishment seems too harsh to fit the crime. No excuses need not (indeed, should not) mean no compassion or no flexibility. I’m grateful to have avoided getting points on my licence and my punishment may well help see the error of my ways.
There’s no reason why ‘no excuses’ has to equate with being punitive and making children suffer. I see it more as holding children to account for their effort, attitude and behaviour. If ‘no excuses’ results in a relatively minor but consistently applied consequences, maybe those being ‘punished’ might feel differently. Maybe they wouldn’t rage at the injustice, but take their medicine with good grace. Maybe not, but there would be ‘no excuse’ for choosing to take it with bad grace.
In both examples, a no excuses culture has its uses. In Sue’s example, it informs children of the course of action they need to take and allows them to either take responsibility or make an excuse. For instance, at Michaela, they have a school ‘shop’ on site to allow children to make sure they are properly equipped and in correct uniform. It really is up to them to do the right thing. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I seriously doubt any school would punish a child for doing their best to follow the rules in circumstances which are entirely outside of their control, but even if there are, at the very least the rules are consistent and everyone knows exactly what to expect.
Sue concludes her blog saying, “To this day, my son is terrified of lightning. And I don’t blame him. Because he has a perfectly reasonable excuse.”
I’d like to offer an alternative interpretation: Her son has a perfectly valid reason for being afraid of lightning; it’s up to him whether he uses this as an excuse.
And that’s the point I really want to make. How we behave is a matter of choice. We all need to be helped to make good choices sometimes, and we all benefit from being reminded of the consequences for poor choices. If children are ever going to be responsible for their actions we need to stop making excuses for them. As Alexander Pope said, “An excuse is worse than a lie, for an excuse is a lie, guarded.”
So, here’s my definition: making an excuse is failing to take responsibility.
making an excuse is failing to take responsibility.
I like this and I think we have all done it. When I give after school detention at our school for pupils who have broken certain rules (eg late to class) I often say to them that it is just like an adult being asked to attend a speed awareness course: it doesn’t mean I think they are bad or that I think less of them. It is an infringement and there is a penalty to pay. Removing the word ‘blame’ from the conversation helps, I feel.
Sometimes pupils come up with a string of excuses and my line is often that they are simply trying to talk their way out of a situation they behaved themselves into (read that somewhere).
That’s a great line! Thanks Frank, you’re absolutely right to point out that blame and personality need to removed from the equation.
How exactly does a detention deal with lateness? How does it invite the student to reflect on why or how he/she has been late?
Following on from Michael: Perhaps the most damaging thing as far as relationships and trust goes is when the person in authority (parent, teacher, boss) is expecting and excuse is already dishing out a punishment before you’ve got any chance to declare the issue and next steps or ask for help. If a person is on the receiving end of this just a few times, their motivation for coming forward with an issue is through the floor and their motivation for hiding issues from authority in the hope they’re not caught and punished is high. We’ve not necessarily got better people, they’re just better at hiding the things others see as faults in them.
The driving example is a good counter to this because, in this case, the fine/consequence is issued without you having a chance of ‘pleading guilty’ before hand, although you did have space to reason-out the situation meaning no points.
In a recent interview I did with a lady who’s a Virtues project Facilitator and Teacher she said “When children don’t know maths, we teach them. When they don’t know how to read, we teach them. When they don’t know how to behave, we punish them.” (http://leahkstewart.com/virtues/) What if we assume that being open and asking for help is more natural than hiding and making excuses? Then it might be good to reflect on why a student feels it’s necessary to hide and make excuses. What has happened in their life experience that has taught them to behave is this destructive way? Why fuel their poor view of the world and of themselves by punishing their excuse? I’m sure we can do better than this.
When a child doesn’t arrive on time to class because they are loitering in the toilet it is not a case of not knowing how to behave. They choose not to behave.
How does a parking fine deal with inappropriate parking? How does it invite the driver to reflect on how or why s/he has parked inappropriately? In my experience, the answer to this is obvious. Why would it be any different for teenagers?
A detention doesn’t ‘deal with lateness’. It’s a consequence. But that doesn’t mean a detention can’t include some kind of explanation or reflection.
How does 3 points on your licence deal with speeding? It doesn’t. The speeding awareness course I’ve just come back from might have some long lasting influence. I now understand some things I didn’t previously understand.
When they are sitting ion detention they can reflect on the fact that if they had arrived on time they wouldn’t be in detention. In the vast majority of cases they are/were late because they have been dawdling, having a laugh with mates, looking for their friend’s book. etc Since we introduced detention for lateness to lesson, lateness has plummeted. In fact, I can’t recall the last time I have given a detention for being late to lesson. Before, it was quite common for pupils to arrive ten minutes or more late. It was one of the first things that struck me when I joined the school. This causes massive disruption to the class. We have the same consequence for not bringing equipment. Again, this has massively changed behaviour. Pupils come prepared to work now, Before, I would be dishing out pens at the start of every lesson.
Perhaps we have the vocabulary wrong. What if we only ever asked for reasons and then declared them valid or invalid? Sue’s example is more than valid. Years ago a boy in the school where I worked came in with a note asking the school to excuse his lack of uniform and equipment caused by their house being knocked down by a fire engine the night before. Pretty valid I wold say especially since most of us drove past it on the way to school! This would excuse his infringement.
The speeding example is an invalid reason because you could have observed the speed limit. So it doesn’t excuse your infringement.
Just saying…
Sue’s example does provide a valid reason but still doesn’t excuse poor choices.
And yeah, I was just a wazzack
What was the poor choice in her example? They didn’t choose for the house to go on fore and ruin all the school stuff…..at least, I’m assuming they didn’t!!
And looking at your recent exchange…not for the first time!
I’m not suggesting there was a poor choice in Sue’s example, just that it could have been used as an excuse. You infer too much 😉
I like this a lot more. I think the distinction between having a reason and making an excuse as David suggests; having a notion of ‘valid’ and ‘invalid’ reasons as Julie suggests; and removing the ‘blame’ aspect from someone whilst them nevertheless having responsibility for something, as Frank suggests, has the making of something containing both the required clarity and the necessary reflexivity.
I’m finding my mind going now trying to build a complete model around this…Thanks!
This is an adult interpretation of a policy for children. If you say there are ‘no excuses’, you must mean what you say. Children are not able to deal with the interpretation of subtle nuance, nor should we ask them to do so. Saying there are ‘no excuses’ is a binary concept. Saying there may be ‘reasonable circumstances’ means that ‘no excuses’ is the incorrect term to use for what you meant. (In fact, using the word ‘excuses’ in schools seems a bit emotive to me, as it is a very subjective term).
If we have to write blog posts debating the specific meaning of a term, then the term is not sufficiently clear or literal for our children. You cannot have ‘degrees’ of okay in a binary term, that way madness lies. Sorry, but it does.
I do mean no excuses Sue. But you’re interpreting that to mean something different. There may be reasonable circumstances but that still doesn’t excuse you from taking responsibility. That is binary and it is absolute. See what I’ve done? “No excuses for not taking responsibility for your actions” is a bit clunky. ‘No excuses’ is just a snappier way of communicating the same message. I’m going to assume that children are capable of understanding the need for responsibility after an explanation. I think they get it.
“Children are not able to deal with the interpretation of subtle nuance, nor should we ask them to do so.”
Aren’t we talking mostly about teen-agers here? I think most teen-agers would understand the difference David is talking about – it’s really not that subtle. “My house burned down” is pretty obviously quite different from “I left my school shoes at my Dad’s”. My daughter took her break-time detention in good part when the latter event occurred (although she was startled to find her fellow detainees laughing and chatting, and quite obviously not regarding the experience as a punishment at all).
p.s. I’m happy for you to quote from my blog, but please be aware that the material is under my copyright, so please respect the ‘fair usage’ rules. I know I write short blogs, but quoting 50% of the entire blog probably doesn’t stick to the bit about “no more than is necessary is included”. If you just quote a line, and then link to the original, people can read it there. Thanks.
I have now removed the long quote and turned it into a brief paraphrase.
I wouldn’t have wanted you to think I was caricaturing your position and so quoted it in full. I have no qualms with anyone quoting from my blog but I will certainly respect your position.
I think the distinction between reason and excuse make a lot of sense and is what was going through my mind also. However, it is fair to say that we have all messed up and tried to use excuses. The reason why we may no longer do so is precisely because we have been taught the difference between a valid and invalid reason for something occurring. For example, a child may have had a fight in the playground and be upset, therefore not focused on a lesson. There is a reason but not an excuse for not concentrating as the circumstances were within their control to some extent. Often children make poor choices but constantly preventing them from taking responsibility does not help them to become confident adults. I have already disagreed with Sue about adult nuances – it is not – we can make this clear to children and very much should do so they understand the difference.
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As a child my mum had valid reasons for not concentrating in class or doing well at school. Her mum suffered from extreme mental health problems aher dad had to hold down a job and raise her and her sister. However, luckily for me from a very young age she saw the classroom and learning as an opportunity, this was made easier for her because she also found out it was an enjoyable escape. Indeed from the age of 8 she took this a step further and took herself off on buses to London museums.
But also luckily other people stepped in, neighbours helped out, she was old enough to look after her sister, he dads company showed leniency to him sometimes in taking time off and gave her summer jobs.
By planning my lessons carefully with supportive resources which can be scaled down at the necessary rate for each student creating a good classroom environment I create a space where the only responsibility they have at that time is to focus and learn. Just as the road is set up for you to drive safely on.
This can be enhanced by reducing the likelihood that a students basic needs are met breakfast club, mentors who can support students with worries and wobbles before the day begins, counselling, school social workers.
But on balance this will not be effective if the child has needs which are not being met which stop them from accessing the learning. My Grandad had strong traditional values. Mum went to school nearly every day, mild illness was not an excuse. She had no learning gaps to overcome. She was well fed by him or neighbours. The house and her clothes were clean.
I think there can be valid reasons why students can not access the learning or be prepared for school. They have to be carefully separated out, but they do exist. I do believe in the maxim it takes a village to raise a child. Reasons and excuses can also reveal disclosures. For example: I need more help (I have 40% attendance) I’m hungry, I have mental health problems, my parents don’t know how to set clear boundaries for me. Just as long as we build this ECM information in and fully support students alongside not being punitive to teachers who are not able to get students to work in these contexts (which is fairly common in my experience). Then I think a no excuses or reasons approach has value.vif I am not well enough to drive I dont get in the drivers seat. Children do not have that autonomy.
I have had a student who has joined year 11 at the last minute, they had very low attendence. They had had an incredibly tough time and were easily distracted in class. I sometimes let the student talk to me for limited periods of time about the difficultiesthey had had. In a no excuses culture this is off task behaviour and I could be judged badly for it for a number of reasons. The student picked things up quickly so was easy to praise. His attendence iwent up to 100%, for a number of reasons and but they made it clear they were happy and relaxed in my class.
No excuses but check to see if they are disclosures. Some people are not great at seeing the difference or acting on it. I grew up doing this and so feel confident I can do this well most of the time, but it is not a straightforward process and takes time,energy and often loads of collaboration. Often and perhaps increasingly there is not the budget to act on it.
Oh and sometimes in my life I have taken two pens to do my work and they have both broken. There is also a point where we have done everything right within reason and fate overtakes.
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I have three simple checks when looking at a school’s behaviour policy.
1. Is the rule reasonable and is it communicated effectively?
2. If the requested behaviour doesn’t happen, is the response reasonable?
3. Is the response delivered reasonably?
If we take the ‘lack of uniform due to fire’ example, as a starting point, is it reasonable for students to come to school in uniform? I’m going to say yes.
What happens if they don’t come in uniform? The school could respond, not with a punishment, but by ensuring the student was given some uniform from school stock. Is this reasonable? I think it is.
Does the school ask nicely and explain the need for consistency across school? If so, then it is delivering the consequences reasonably. Check x3. Here we move away from punishment and towards supportive limit setting.
I’m in favour of binary when it comes to behaviour, with these three checks in place. I also think we need to spend much more time defining ‘speed limits’ and explaining the reasons for them. This makes any disagreements about whether a consequence is reasonable much easier to handle. We are looking to ensure some reasonable limits whilst keeping relationships in the best shape possible.
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